“Why Your Grey Hair Transition Sparks So Many Feelings”
- Natalie Varrasso
- Sep 2
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 26
“So… You Decided to Go Grey?”
Understanding What’s Really Behind Those Comments
Have you ever had someone say, “So you decided to go grey,” with a curious look, and then… nothing? Or maybe you’ve made a bold change with your hair, like a colour transition, and noticed their eyes linger on your hair, but their lips stay sealed?
Comments like these can feel awkward, dismissive, or even negative. But here’s something important to understand: their reaction has far less to do with you and far more to do with them.
Why People React This Way
When we make a bold style decision—especially one that challenges a long-standing social norm, like women covering their white or grey hair—it can unintentionally trigger other people’s own insecurities or beliefs.
Psychologically speaking, humans are wired to see differences as a kind of “threat” to the norm. For decades, society has sold us the idea that grey hair equals ageing, and that youthfulness is the standard of beauty. So, when someone sees you confidently embracing your natural hair, it can create a moment of reflection for them:
“Would I be brave enough to do that?”
“Would I look older if I went grey?”
“Does this mean I’ve been hiding my hair for all these years?”
Those feelings can come out as awkward silence, backhanded comments, or even a slightly judgmental tone. But here’s the key: this is about them, not you.
Silence Speaks Too
When someone says nothing at all, that silence often carries meaning. No comment can sometimes feel louder than actual words, but it’s usually because they don’t know how to respond.
This might happen if:
They’re uncomfortable breaking from tradition and see your choice as a challenge to what they’ve always done.
They’re worried about saying the wrong thing.
They simply don’t know how to compliment a change that feels so different.
Psychologists call this a projection: when someone projects their own feelings, fears, or beliefs onto another person. Your decision to embrace your natural beauty may highlight something they haven’t yet made peace with in themselves.
Breaking the Mould Takes Courage
Choosing to transition to grey is more than just a hairstyle—it’s a statement. It says you’re confident in your own skin and willing to step outside what society expects of women. That can be confronting for people who have spent years, or even decades, colouring their hair because they felt they had to.
Instead of seeing their reaction as a critique of you, try seeing it as a reflection of their own journey. You’re modelling courage and authenticity, even if it feels like they don’t appreciate it right now.
Flip the Script
Next time you get the “So you decided to go grey” comment, or someone says nothing at all, here’s a reframe:
Their silence = their own uncertainty, not your mistake.
Their surprise = your confidence shining through.
Their hesitation = an opportunity for them to reflect.
Often, these reactions come from a place of admiration or curiosity they don’t know how to express. Over time, you might even inspire them to rethink what beauty means to them.
So Remember
Your decision to embrace your natural hair is deeply personal and incredibly brave. People’s reactions—positive, negative, or silent—are never the full story. What matters most is that your hair reflects you: your confidence, your authenticity, and your decision to write your own story.
By breaking the mould, you’re not just changing your hair. You’re helping to reshape what beauty looks like for the women around you.
By Natalie Varrasso, Sept 2025
If you’ve ever felt the weight of those silent stares or unsure comments, know this: your hair journey is deeply personal, and it deserves respect and care.
At Retreat Hair, I offer one-on-one consultations designed to create a safe space where you can explore your options without pressure. Together, we’ll map out a personalised plan—whether that’s a soft colour transition, a full embrace of your natural tones, or a style refresh that aligns with your lifestyle and how you wish to be seen.
It’s not just about hair; it’s about confidence, authenticity, and feeling beautifully “you.”
If you’re curious to see what’s possible for your own hair journey, I’d be honoured to sit with you, talk through your vision, and help you feel empowered in your next chapter.
You can simply tap here to reach out with your request, or visit my website for more information and a full library of blogs and tutorials designed to give you all the insight you need to take your next step forward with confidence.
Comments